7 Weeks:
My meal plan is:
6:45-7:00 drink a Carnation Instant Breakfast shake with Skim Milk
9:20 I'm hungry. Usually I have some sort of starch. Veggie straws, baked lays, etc.
12:00 is our designated lunch time and I'm generally hungry then, but not starving. Then I have my fruit and yogurt.
2:00 is the next hunger strike; I try to eat an apple or fruit snack.
5:30-6:00 is dinner time. Only pan pizza sounds good. If anything at all.
I am hoping that this food finicky stuff is over soon. I used to be picky, but not THIS picky. It's rather frustrating. Other than this, I've just been tired. Which I can live with. I just wish I had a little more energy to get more done (at home and at school).
8 Weeks:
Well, this week was our first ultrasound. We had to tell one of our secretaries, (which kind of seemed silly because we told her before our families, but whatever). I'm so glad Tyler came with me to the appointment! Having this type of ultrasound was nothing new to me. Having PCOS, I've had numerous ultrasounds already. This was the first time however, there was a little something in my uterus. :) As Tyler and I were grinning, awe-struck, fools, our sonogram nurse said, "Well, it's your lucky day. Two for the price of one (kind of)!" We are having TWINS! Oh. My. Gosh! Tyler starts laughing, my pulse started racing, it was AMAZING! Our nurse was so excited for us, and went "fishing" to make sure she "didn't miss any." Thankfully, there are only two in there. :) Both looked healthy and right at 8 weeks. They each have their own amniotic sac and placenta, but we don't know for sure if they are fraternal or identical. Most likely they'll be fraternal based on their individual placenta and sac. I don't care either way, I just am so ecstatic! Twins don't necessarily run in the family. My fraternal grandmother is a twin, but there haven't been any since. I'm pretty confident that ours are from the medications I took to become pregnant.
The morning sickness has gotten a little worse. I threw up for the first time this week. It was awful. Remember a previous post and how I said I never, ever throw up. Yeah, this was awful. Tyler even came running upstairs to my aid. <3 He is the best. Needless to say, I've been going through saltine crackers and Gatorade/Powerade like they're going out of style. My doctor said it is okay to not eat much, as babies (yes, plural .. crazy!), will get enough nutrients from my body, but they need plenty of fluids. Which also means I pee all the time already. :)
The hubs and I have been talking about if we'd prefer two boys, two girls, or one of each. When it boils down to it, we just want two healthy babies (both physically and mentally) and to carry them full-term, or as close as possible. My due date is May 24th, so there is plenty of time.
9 Weeks:
We wanted to tell our families at Thanksgiving, when I'll be a little over three months along. But, we just won't be able to get our families together. So, we decided to tell them this weekend. We copied the ultrasound picture that included both babies and gave it (first) to my parents in an envelope. We said we had something for them. :) They knew what the picture was, but didn't see that there were two. My mom instantly started crying and couldn't believe after everything her and I talked about just the night before and how we were trying, to already be pregnant. hehe. When Dad hugged me, he got choked up too. Once they left, we went to Tyler's mom's house and presented her with an envelope too. She didn't cry, but said, "No. Oh, no!" I don't think she knew how to respond. :) She said she was excited for us, but wasn't going to be too excited until she knew they were both going to be okay. Which, will probably be around 20 weeks - January sometime.
Tyler and I are looking forward to January, as week 20 is a big week for the babies. Their sex should be evident, they will be at a lower risk, etc. So, until then, we will continue our prayers and continue to give thanks.
10 Weeks:
Sorry, no picture this week. I keep forgetting EVERYTHING. :(
Thank goodness the morning sickness has pretty much subsided. It was rather grueling there for awhile. This week I am still below my pre-pregnancy weight by 0.6 pounds. I'm glad I haven't lost any more, and I'm sure I will gain plenty as the later months roll on. :) I don't feel as bloated as I did a few weeks ago, but I know the little stomach I've gained is mostly bloat - retaining water, more blood is being created, space is being made, etc. I'm sure I would have a cuter little belly if I wasn't already a big gal, but that's okay with me. I don't really care how I look, I just want safe, healthy, full-term, babies.:)
I still find that I am not hungry or interested in eating breakfast. BUT, I do snack throughout most of the day, and have a big dinner. I've found that a big dinner will allow me to not wake up in the middle of the night or wake up sick. Thankfully, I have an appetite again. I crave foods, but not too many. Like pizza - I could eat carry-out pizza everyday, but I think I'm over our typical go-to frozen pizza. I'm also all about fries! Tyler bought 12 bags of Ore Ida potatoes for us and they are oh, so delicious. I am trying to not eat only carbs, or too many; but it's hard to say no when something finally sounds, and tastes good!
Dreams ... Lordy. I've been having lots of strange dreams lately. Well, they're not too strange, like they could actually happen, but they are just strange given where I am in life currently. :)
It is so unbelievably tempting to purchase baby items! One, they are so stinkin' cute already, and to know that I GET to purchase them later, makes the suspense unbearable! We've already talked about what items we want new for sure, and things we are okay getting handed down, or gently used. I think we're on the same page.
Oh! It has been so much fun playing around with names! I know it's super early, but rather than coming up with a name for either gender, we have to come up with two - four names! We have four (finally!) that we both like. But it wasn't easy! We definitely like more boy names than girls, and have mostly settled on two boy names and two girl names, just in case. I think we're going to have a boy and a girl, and statistically, that is more likely. :) So we have names ready for that option as well. hehe This is fun!
11 Weeks:
Sorry, no picture again. :(
Still, the exhaustion is kicking my butt. I know it's only going to get worse, but that doesn't really help me now. Maybe I'm tired because of my job - it's quite a doozy this year. I feel like I generally sleep well during the night, I'm just lacking energy.
Dear Husband and I have been pretty eager for this week to be over - as our next ultrasound is next week! :) Can't wait to see the babies again!
I'm still doing my best to "follow the rules" that my OB gave me. (I've always been a rule follower though. :) Tyler has been really good about carrying everything that is heavy for me. Cases of water, overflowing laundry hamper, my school backpack, etc. I'm so glad he is here to help me out.
Cravings! I walked into our school's front office one morning, around 8:45, and swore I smelled pizza. ... it took everything in me to not order pizza for lunch that day!
I told Tyler that if we were going to cloth diaper, and save money that way, that I wanted to make my own laundry detergent for the babies too. He called me a hippie. I smiled. I already use laundry detergent that I made. I like it. It's easy, cheap, I know what's in it, etc. (Shout out to Facebook and Pinterest friends for ideas and recipes!) I have found a few recipes that are ideal for cloth diapers, that also remove any film that may develop on them ... can't wait to make it! (I'll be a hippie that doesn't do drugs, sleep around, drive a weird van, wear funny clothes, etc. I'll be a modern-day hippie ... I'll be "green." :)
Week 12:
First day of the week, my dear husband went to make us hash browns and eggs for breakfast. He asked me if potatoes could go bad - I said, maybe? He said, "Maybe my sniffer is off, will you smell them?" (Expiration was 11/8 - just one day earlier.) I smelled it and almost lost it! He just laughed and sprayed me with Febreze. So sweet. He went downstairs to see if there was another bag in the freezer - nope. Came back up and said, "Whew! It does stink up here!" (No kidding!) ... talk about heightened senses and an annoying dry heaving episode. Yikes.
Wednesday of this week we went in for our 12 week ultrasound to check up on the babies. The first baby the doctor found on the monitor was super active! Jumping up and down, flipping around ... it was AMAZING! She couldn't even get a heart rate because baby wouldn't sit still! We later did get a read and it was 160 bpm. :) I knew the moment the doctor moved the little wand from the first baby to the second that something was wrong. The second baby didn't look any different than it did four weeks ago. I knew we had lost it. We went to the ultrasound-tech on the "better" machine and she confirmed that baby only measured at 8 weeks. Which meant we probably lost him/her around week 10.
To say that I was angry and sad would be a complete understatement. I was pretty pissed at God that evening. Even the next day at school I was angry. How could He do this to us? What had we done to deserve that? After everything we've been through trying to conceive, He allowed us to, and then took a baby away!? I cried. A lot.
After my husband and I had some time to grieve, we were able to talk about why it might have happened. There could have been a chromosome issue that would have caused life-changing problems. The baby might have missed an appendage. There would be no way for us to ever know ...
Thankfully, each baby was in their own sac and had their own placenta. The healthy baby would not be affected by the one that didn't make it. I was concerned that I would have to deliver the one that was miscarried (it is classified as a miscarriage), but because it was so early, my body -and the healthy baby, will just "absorb" it. Troublesome, and yet relieving.
Luckily, we decided to stay quiet until I was three months along ... it was hard enough going back and telling our parents, and two aunts that we lost one. Thankfully, Tyler was willing to talk to them for us. <3
This was not a good week.
13 Weeks:
This week was better. Thank you, God. We went to church with my parents. I tried not to cry ... but some messages and songs just speak to you ... and make you bawl. I didn't really care though. God knows everything anyway, I'm not afraid to cry in His house. That's probably the best place to break down, come to think of it. After church that day, I haven't felt anger about losing a baby anymore. I'm still sad, and disappointed, but I've come to a better place of understanding that this was meant to be. It's possible that we wouldn't have been able to handle two newborns at once, physically, emotionally, or monetarily. I trust God made the choice He made for a reason. Again, just sad, not angry. I know everyone has their own opinions on when an embryo or fetus is a living thing, but as soon as I saw those two heartbeats, I had two babies. Now that there is only one heartbeat, I've lost one. That's never going to be easy, for anyone, ever.
On Tuesday, I went in to the doctor's to listen to the heartbeat. I was nervous. I knew the doctor said baby was fine, but I needed to be reassured. And boy, was I! Baby's heartbeat was 162 bpm and it was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G to hear the 'woosh' 'woosh' 'woosh' of the heartbeat. <3
We told my siblings we were pregnant over the weekend. :) I was just going to show them the sonogram, but Tyler wanted to do something fun. So, my mom and I ran to Walmart and bought a 3-pack of onesies. I wrote a little note on each of them. "I <3 my Aunt J----." "I <3 my Aunt R------." "I <3 my Uncle M----." My sisters figured it out right away. My brother, not so much. The girls didn't even have to see the entire onesie to know what it was about. They ran over to hug me, already crying. While we were hugging, M---- was holding the onesie with both hands reading it, looking at us, trying to understand what was going on. :) He did figure it out and it was great! R------ is now in charge of ALL of J----'s wedding stuff, while I get to do baby stuff. Just kidding! I'm still going to do things with R------. :) 
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| This was how we showed my Grandma Boyd. :) |
Fun food facts: I could eat Chili Cheese Fritos all day. Every day. Pizza always sounds good - but not frozen pizza (Pizza Hut, Papa Murphy's, or Valentino's are all okay). Dill pickle chips, frozen El Monterey burritos, orange juice, rice/pasta/CARBS!, and meatballs almost always sound good. Not together of course; gross. :)
Tessa has been super loving toward me. She lets me hold her like a baby, she crawls up and sits with me whenever I'm in my chair, and sometimes snubs Tyler when she's with me. hehe. Silly puppy. She will sure be jealous in a few months!
I've been having a few pains in my abdomen this week. When I asked my doctor about it, she said that unless it felt like a PMS cramp, then it was okay. I could also look out for ... sightings in the restroom, and that would also be a concern. So, in the meantime, I'll assume the pains I feel are my uterus expanding and a healthy baby growing. :) Baby is the size of a lemon this week - crazy!
This was a rather eventful week. :)
